I am guilty of at least two offenses to Nuggan. The first offense is my tolerance and ownership of these, which are abominations unto Nuggan:
The second occurred as a the result of a broken toe, incurred while chasing around this vile beast:
As a consequence, I found myself in need of footwear that would allow for comfortable healing of said toe, while providing sufficient protection in a manner appropriate to a hospital setting. And so it came to pass that there was only one option, which was truly a new and heretofore previously undescribed abomination unto Nuggan – a pair of XXL black Beach Crocs:
These wretched “shoes,” comprised of naught but formed rubberized plastic, are nothing short of stylistic and environmental blasphemy. The truth of this is proclaimed here, and the militant prophets of Nuggan have demonstrated the only appropriate uses for them here and here.
I am contrite, and seek Nuggan’s forgiveness.
OH NO!!!! Not Crocs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not certain whether to laugh at you or feel sorry for you. I truly hope your toe heals soon, allowing you to wear “real” footwear again. Will there be a ritual burning of the Crocs once they have served their purpose?
Forget Nuggan; you have offended me, sir! Were I not an inveterate coward, I would call you out onto a field of honor to engage in single combat.
My condolences on your forced choice of footwear. Having broken the above mentioned appendage in the pre-Crock era I can say that, in all likelihood it IS more comfortable than the alternatively offered plastic boot I was forced to wear.
Here’s to a speedy recovery. A good penance for the Great god Nuggan would be Canned Tuna.
I have to say, I knew nothing of Nuggan when I read this post, and now that I have researched it, I have to start reading Diskworld. How many novels is he up to? 31?
As for Crocs, I view them as the mumu of footwear. Comfortable? Yes. Stylish? Hell no.
@Melanie – There will be an appropriate destructive sacrifice of the Crocs once their purpose is served. This will, of course, be publicly documented.
@Kris – I would be concerned at said offense were you actually in the pantheon of Nuggan; alas, you are not. It is good that you dare not challenge me to a melee duel. The Crocs may be cursed, but they buff my edged weapons to drain both vitality and fashion sense from m enemies.
@Maria – Bacon has also been suggested.
@David – YES. The mumu of footwear, indeed! And, yes – it is imperative that you get into Diskworld. Pratchett is simply brilliant.